Earlier today, I got an email from my mom that included this picture:

That is an ice wave, and it is IN MICHIGAN. There was a big long story about how it came to be, but the main point was that it is FREAKING COLD IN MICHIGAN. Ha! Suckers.

I then took the dogs for a walk, because today is one of those rare days in Florida when it’s bright and sunny, but still pretty chilly out. Really! I wore a light jacket and long pants — it’s that cold!

(And yes, I know my Michigan folks are pissed that I’m calling it cold, but it’s all relative, man. You could’ve moved here, too.)

So, my two dogs, Yuki, who is almost 6, and Rudi, who is almost 1 (but is already bigger than the Yukster) pulled me along at approximately 5 or 6 thousand miles an hour. I did all the things I learned at Puppy School — stop when they pull, make them look at me, make them sit. Yuki is not thrilled with all this. Rudi is the one pulling, and she’s the reason I stop, but she sits when I ask her to. Yuki just looks at me with this, “Are you off your fucking rocker?” face, like she simply doesn’t deserve to be grouped in with that damn puppy. And maybe she doesn’t, but would it kill her to sit? I know she knows what I’m saying. And also, she has some naughty language. I have no idea where she gets it.

Then, of course, when other dogs walk by (because, contrary to the hounds’ way of thinking, it is not their neighborhood — it is in fact shared with other canines), Rudi just goes nuts. “Barkbarkbark!!! What’s your name?!? Barkbarkbark! Why won’t you talk to me?!?” I’ll tell you why they won’t talk to her — they are actually Good Dogs. Sigh.

Finally, I squirted her in the face with my water bottle, like people do to cats when they get on the table. It worked … sort of. I might have to do more of that. I wonder if it works on people, too …

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