I am a good driver. Seriously — ask anyone — I have a good record, I’m cautious, and I’m safe. I get a little frustrated with stupid drivers sometimes, and yes, I’ve been known to point at people who look like they want to pull out in front of me, but it always works. Who’s going to pull out in front of a crazy lady who’s pointing at you? Nobody, that’s who.

Well, yesterday I was driving to kickboxing and I was on this busy road, in the far left of three lanes. I put on my blinker to get in the middle, looked in mirrors and blind spots, and started merging. Then I started to hear this loud, obnoxious honking, and I looked all around and totally couldn’t see anybody who ought to be honking — I had NO CLUE as to what was going on.

Then it was made clear.

This stupid girl in a stupid car came flying around me on my left side. Obviously, we had been merging into that middle lane at the same time, but since she was behind me and moving right in my goddam blind spot I hadn’t been able to see her. I turned to try to mouth “Sorry” or something, and guess what the stupid girl does …

She screams at me and throws rocks at my car out her passenger side window. Who does that? Who carries rocks in their car so they can throw them at people who make them angry? Is she so used to doing stupid things in traffic that it’s a common occurrance for her to feel the need to throw rocks? If my window had been down, she would’ve hit me in the face, which I’m sure is what she was trying to do.

Anyway, it took every ounce of self control for me to not gun up on her and toss a grenade into her stupid car. Also, I was out of grenades … alas. Of all days.