Okay, so there might not be a button to push that automatically cleans the shower, but I did learn something new and amazing as a result of my rant on how you can take the blender APART to clean it.

My mother-in-law sent me an email telling me that there’s a way to keep your aluminum foil from falling out of the box. Yes, really. And it tells you how to do it ON THE BOX. It says “Press in tab to secure roll” or something brilliant like that (unless you’re like me and you get the cheap store brand, in which case there’s STILL a tab, but it doesn’t tell you what to do with it — if you’re smart enough to save money, they must assume you’re smart enough to figure it out or something).

So, this was awesome to learn, but I got to thinking that I don’t really have such an issue with aluminum foil. It’s the Saran Wrap that just gets me off my fucking rocker. I mean, seriously, that stuff must have been made on the one day that that baby Jesus and the Devil were trying to be friends, with Jesus saying, “Wouldn’t it be AWESOME if we could make a stretchy, clingy plastic wrappy thing that people could put over plates or use to wrap up veggies and keep them fresh?” And the Devil said, “Yeah, and it would be even AWESOMER to make it so that it TOTALLY sticks to itself and then we get to watch people fight with it!”

Fortunately, the baby Jesus, he is sneaky, and he put tabs on the Saran Wrap, too. Seriously, I think I could handle living until a ripe old age now that I know this.

Oh, and, you’re WELCOME — I accept thanks in the form of cash, cleaning services, and dog sitting.