I’m horrible with names and faces. Embarrassingly so. There are a few people in the outer reaches of our social circle who I know I should recognize, by name or face or, ideally, both, but I just never do. Jared thinks this is hilarious — he actually refers to one of these people as “the guy you know but never remember you know.” He thinks this is funny because he remembers everybody. Almost.

This weekend, he was at his friend’s new apartment — he’s a really close friend, almost like a younger brother to Jared in a lot of ways — and one of the two pictures he had up was one of the two of us (say it with me: “Awww!”). It’s a Halloween picture where we’re dressed as Fred and Daphne from Scooby-Doo, and, this friend said, “Oh yeah, Morgan* saw that and asked if it was Jared.”

This freaked Jared out completely because he had no idea who Morgan was, how she was close enough friends with our friend to be in his apartment, and how the hell she knew him by name, even in a goofy blond wig. It turned out that she’s a girl they knew from a bar they frequent, but Jared was totally thrown that somebody knew him and he didn’t remember them at first.

And now he knows how I feel when he comes home from a friend’s house or a bar and tells me that so and so asked about me** (or asked specific questions about my job or the dogs — HOW DO THEY KNOW THESE THINGS???). Am I nuts? Does this happen to anyone else? Am I prematurely senile?

*Name changed because I have no idea who she is, but she totally might know me, and obviously all of that makes it a little difficult to ask her if she minds being written about. Plus, it’s a little rude to infer that she’s someone I might know but didn’t care enough about to remember. Whatever — try making an impression next time!

**Often it turns out that I met these people while at a party, or at multiple parties, and apparently, we’ve had deeply intellectual conversations. Of course, I’m hammered at the time, and while I might experience a bit of drunken recall at the next soiree, while I’m sober, forget about it. Obviously, I did.

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