You know the episode of Friends where Phoebe’s fire alarm won’t stop beeping, so she wraps it up in a blanket and throws it down the garbage chute, after which a fireman brings it back to her? That was basically a PSA for me, I think, because if I didn’t know that the only way to shut it up was by hitting the button, I very well could’ve pulled a Phoebe.

A week ago (of course, while Jared was gone and I was the only one around), the smoke detector started beeping in the middle of the night. My first thought was, “What’s going on? Is it just a little fire or something?” And then, of course, I realized I just needed to test and reset it. I did, and all was well.

Until 4:00 this morning, when it started beeping again, at which point I tore it from the ceiling and took a baseball bat to it before running it over repeatedly with my car. In my mind. In real life, I grabbed a chair, pushed the damn button again, and went back to bed.

What’s the deal? Do I have to replace batteries? Be nicer to it? Buy it a friend?