My husband and I had vastly different upbringings. I grew up in a really small town, in an old farmhouse that you had to take three different dirt roads to find. I lived there from the time I was born until I went to college, and my parents didn’t leave it until two years after that. It was 40 minutes or an hour to the nearest mall, and even the nearest Meijer (like Michigan’s Target) was about half an hour away.

Jared moved all around, mostly within Florida, and lived in numerous cities. Even when he was in a smaller area, he was in the city, at least compared to where I lived. So, naturally, every once in a while, something comes up that I just can’t believe he doesn’t know.

Today, we were driving to my parents’ house, and we go down some hick town two-lane roads to get there. We were behind a school bus, and had the following conversation.

Jared: Where is that bus even going to go?

Me: What do you mean? People live down these roads.

Jared: I know, but where does it stop? I mean, shouldn’t it have to stop at the intersection of all of these roads?

Me: No … not every road has a child of school age.

Jared: Did you ride the bus? (he’s seen the house I grew up in and knows that it’s about three miles from a paved road)

Me: Uh, yeah.

Jared: Where did it drop you off?

Me: At my house. Dude. It’s not like they’re going to make the first grader walk three miles, alone, through the snow, to get home.

Jared: I always had to walk from a bus stop.

Me: Yes, because you lived in a neighborhood. With other children. And sidewalks. And no bears.

Jared: Well, if they don’t teach you about the bears then, how are you gonna learn?

Following this, we got into a long discussion about the apparent difficulty of learning to use a compass (seriously — it points north. If you want to go north, you follow the arrow. If you want to go south, you go in the opposite direction. Right?). Jared is convinced that using a compass involves the climbing of trees and swimming of rivers, and that giant rocks often plant themselves in your path so that you get lost going around them. But then again, he did the boy scout thing, and I mostly just found my way around the mall. You want Auntie Anne’s Pretzels? Rave? Claire’s? I’m your compass, baby.

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