Today, the following dialog occurred in my house:

Jared: Are you wearing a different shirt than you were wearing yesterday?

Me: Uh … (looks down to check), yes.

Jared: Oh. Because you look … (makes motion like he’s bouncing giant breasts on his chest) … bustier.

Me: Yeah. I’m wearing a bra.

So, let’s take a second to discuss the many, many problems with this. For one, my husband shouldn’t have to ask if I’m wearing a different shirt than I did yesterday. It should be a given. Normal people wear different shirts … wait for it … EVERY DAY. Or at least, that’s what I’m told. I, however, do not. If it’s still pretty clean, why dig through my closet to find something new? (To be fair — the shirt I’m wearing today is the same style as what I wore yesterday, just a different color, so it was a totally fair question.)

Second, I shouldn’t have to look down to determine whether, in fact, I actually have a new shirt on today. Please see above for clarification.

And then, there’s the whole issue that I apparently rely on tanks with built-in shelf bras (not quite sufficient for the drooping that apparently ensues when you’re staring down 30) so much that my husband stops in his tracks when I actually wear a bra. I mean, don’t get me wrong — I wear all the proper undergarments when I leave the house. In fact, that’s the whole reason I had one on today — I had gone out this morning and just left it on, like a normal person.

I mean, most days, I’m just sitting in my office, typing away, and my only interaction with people is either via email or conference call, so I guess it makes me a little lazy. Is that a crime? Because I think it just might be.

On another note entirely, Yuki (the seven-year-old dog) has been getting up a little slower and stiffer than in the past, so I decided tonight I’d go buy some glucosamine for her. She doesn’t seem to think that’s necessary, because she just chased the puppy around for 10 minutes like a complete and total nutcase. She’s an enigma wrapped in a riddle surrounded by a constantly exploding coat of fur.

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