Lace. Hated it when Madonna wore it. Hate it equally now. Maybe more.
- Zippers that aren’t a necessity. On pants and jackets, fine. Shirts? NO THANK YOU.
- Patterns that don’t follow through. If you’re striped on the front, you’d damn well better be striped on the back, too. Otherwise, you’re just a lie.
- Modesty-enhancing sheer crap. If you want to show it, show it. Unless you’re doing a back handspring to double back tuck to dismount the bar, or have a triple salchow planned for your upcoming short program, I don’t want to hear about it.
- Snaps. Especially in shirts. Especially ESPECIALLY if they’re decorative. Oh, the horror. THE HORROR. They actually make me cringe. (Side note — when used for an actual purpose on, say, a coat or a purse, I think they’re perfectly lovely. Go figure.)