Actual conversation* that took place today with the cashier in a popular big box store, the name of which might rhyme with Foam Creep-o. I mean, I’m sure the starters were still sleeping off the Black Friday crazy, but, dude.

Cashier (scanning the microwave box): Hmmm. Umm, what’s this?

Us: A, uh, a microwave.

Cashier (looking at the screen, then back at the box, then back at the screen, perplexed): Oh. So, umm, did you, like, want the warranty thing? You know?

Us: No.

Cashier: It might actually come with it already.

Us: Okaaay.

Cashier: So, do you want it? It’s, like, for two years, so if you, like, do something to it, you get a new one or something.


Cashier: But it might already come with it.

Us: So, it comes with a warranty? But you’re asking if we also want to buy a warranty?

Cashier (a little defensively): Well I thought you might know if it came with one or not.

Us: Yeah, we’re going to pass on that. Thanks.

Cashier: Do you want someone to, like, help you load that?


(And no, we didn’t opt to have them help us install it. This could prove to be problematic, but after the folks we encountered today, I think we’re better off hiring a monkey that belongs on the short monkey bus.)