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Actual conversation that took place as Jared was preparing for a trip, meaning he was determining which movies to take with him, and, being the good husband that he is, he tries to take movies I have little to no interest in seeing. See why I keep him around?

Jared: Do you want to see The Adjustment Bureau? It’s the one with Matt Damon.

Me: Matt Damon, like, fat and with a mustache? Or hot?

J: …?

Me: I mean, it matters.

J: No mustache, I think. How about Unknown? It’s like Taken with Liam Neeson.

Me: But who does it have in it?

J: Liam Neeson.

Me: But Taken had Liam Neeson.

J: Yep.

Me: So, he did the same movie twice?

J: Do you want to see it or not?

Me: Again?

J: You haven’t seen this one.

Me: But … ok, fine. Yes. I liked it well enough the first time.

J: *eye roll*

I should probably mention that he listed, like, six other movies that I swear I’ve never even heard of. I don’t understand. I watch the television. I occasionally go to the movie theater. Is it that everything that’s not Harry Potter just fails to make an impact on me? Except I knew what Arthur was, because I love the idea of Helen Mirren and Russell Brand being all inappropriate and flirty during the promotional tour.


Alright, I’m not normally one for memes, but I am one for movie quotes (as are many, many of my friends), and when I saw this post over at Pardon the Egg Salad, I decided to jump on board.

The rules:

  • Pick 10 (or so) of your favorite movies.
  • Find, remember, or look up a quote from each movie.
  • Post them here for everyone to guess.
  • Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.
  • NO googling or cheating by doing an online search. Cheaters never prosper.
  • Commenters should share the fun and only guess one movie (on the first try — if you come back and you know one that still hasn’t been chosen, knock yourself out).


1. I’m sure there’s nothing I do that you’d find exciting. I don’t open beer bottles with my toes, I don’t sit around and count what’s left of my teeth, hey, I don’t even enjoy a good tractor pull. It’s been a limited existence, but I’ve gotten used to it. lizteubner got this one — it’s “The Cutting Edge.” And oh, you guys, I have so many other quotes from this movie. Probably because, well, I can pretty much recite it from start to end.

2. It’s not the years, honey, it’s the mileage. Thank you, Lorra! Yes, It’s “Indiana Jones” — Raiders, if we’re being specific.

3. I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, … but I am proud of what I am. I… am a librarian. It’s “The Mummy,” as velocibadgergirl so keenly guessed.

4. I have two guns, one for each of ya. Kerrianne got it — Tombstone. I’m your Huckleberry. (This is another one I can pretty much do start to finish. Why I find a man with TB so damn hot is beyond me. Why oh WHY did Val Kilmer have to Brando?)

5. This job would be great if it wasn’t for the fucking customers. I figured my husband would know this one. We’ve watched it enough times! Good job on guessing “Clerks,” Jared.

6. I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of Special K, 3 pieces of turkey bacon, a handful of popcorn, 5 peanut butter M&M’s and like 3 pieces of licorice. As Home Sweet Sarah knew without a doubt, it’s “Clueless.”

7. I’m not a witch, I’m your wife! Megan is right — it’s “The Princess Bride.” And also a quote I use on Jared ALL THE TIME.

8. I don’t know what’s scarier, neurotic cheerleaders or the pressure to win. I could make a killing selling something like Diet Prozac. It’s “Bring It On.” Thanks, Maggie!

9. “You learned English?” “Just in cases.” Kristin got this one right — it’s “Love, Actually.” One of my favorite movies, too!

10. At your age, you’re going to have a lot of urges. You’re going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you *will* get chlamydia… and die. That’s no word vomit — Emily, you’re correct. It’s “Mean Girls!”

I might make some enemies here, but the truth is that I don’t think The Office is all that funny. Honestly, it makes me squirm. It’s not that it’s hitting so close to home, or that I have a problem with Steve Carrell (loved him in Little Miss Sunshine) — it just generally doesn’t make me laugh. Smirk a little, maybe, but definitely not laugh.

Jared and I have run into this with movies, too. We turned off You, Me, and Dupree about 30 minutes in, and there have been a number of others that we’ve either turned off early or just not bothered with because we knew it was that “uncomfortable humor.”

I like to think I have a pretty good sense of humor. I’m okay with gross fart jokes, and I also enjoy intelligent, topical humor, but this new form of comedy is really leaving me cold. Thoughts?

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